Friday, 21 August 2009

An Audience with Deepak Chopra

This is the last day of my holiday. People keep reminding me that holidays are for having a rest but I'm consumed with guilt for not working my way through my 'to do' list of jobs I have no time for when I'm working. When are you supposed to do those things? Clean the car, weed the garden, learn to play the ukulele, change the bedlinen...I lunch at a large garden centre with my friend the Piano Teacher, who has thrown up her day job in a school to become a healer. We talk about the meaning of life and wonder what we are doing here and where we will be when we're not here but we come to no firm conclusions... I wonder why Jesus is always the Front Man in inspirational texts that claim they aren't promoting religion and all denominations will benefit from reading them. Channelled texts like A Course in Miracles or Pathwork contain many of his and similar Old Testament sayings and the rest is psychology. We know if we stand back and keep our mouths shut instead of wading in like an amphibian truck, we have a better chance of behaving rationally, so what's new? We marvel at the ducks on the lake and at the fluffy heads of the babies who swim happily without questioning what it's all about. As long as it's wet and there are enough insects to go round, who cares? When I arrive home, Deepak Chopra (or maybe the postman) has pushed a postcard through my letterbox telling me to join his Audience With...It seems like a lot of money to be inspired (£50 or £40 if you're a pensioner) and maybe it's too late for me now. I once set up a phoned interview with said visionary in America for a regional daily newspaper. The interview never took place owing to communication difficulties (that's a laugh) and perhaps it was just as well because the features editor changed her mind on the grounds that she didn't approve of such things and that 'such people' only attracted the sad and the lonely and they should go out and get a life. Nor did she pay the kill fee to which I was entitled. I think I may well join the Audience With...

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