Thinking about the 'things people say' reminds me of some of the writing gaffs that students make. A lot of spelling errors occur because they learn to spell phonetically, so they write as they hear...as in 'new clear family' -- 'outer body experience' -- 'in tacked'.
Can you pick out the two mistakes in this one? '...were brought up together but who's feelings were far from plutonic for one another'. One is grammatical, the other spelling. And if you can't spot those, how about:
'Jan was emitted to the ward.'
'She had soused out that one of the nurses...'
One of the most frequent clangers I receive is '...would of...' and if you can't figure that one out, there is no hope for you.
'She had nothing to loose' is another.
Apostrophes appear all over the place, where they shouldn't be and when they are needed, they are nowhere to be found.
But the best comment yet came from a student who was criticised for his bad language: 'I used bloody and crap as I don't really consider them to be swear words.' I'm sure a lot of people don't but they'll never pass muster for Woman's Weekly. (Or maybe they will nowadays.)