Comparing notes with colleagues sometimes reveals some classic sayings: Mother concerned that daughter wasn't moving forward in her piano studies, when asked 'is she doing enough practise, do you think?' replied 'Oh, do you think that will help?' Apparently, the child had been having lessons for months but didn't realise that she had to practise in between.
My own favourite is the woman who wanted to learn some 'set pieces' without having to learn any notes. I've never been able to work that one out but it was probably something similar to the woman who wanted to learn to play some hymns without having to learn how to play the piano. She had been from teacher to teacher when she approached me and 'they had all messed me about' she declared. I was quickly added to her list when I said she would have to learn the notes first. 'That could take years', she said. Well, no it doesn't actually, my pupils learn that in a couple of lessons. It's putting them in the right order, as Eric Morecambe would have said, that takes longer. It's a bit like saying you don't want to learn letters and words but you just want to read a book. No, I don't get it either!